It’s been a rough year for wizards. The one thing that’s been keeping us going is coming home after a long day and spending a couple hours in front of our orbs, just pondering. Due to global supply chain issues and a cult of dark elves, new orbs have been tough to find this year. Sure, you can just pay scalpers hundreds of dollars more for the latest orbs, but they typically come cursed when you aren’t buying from a major retailer. Then you have to pay with a fragment of your soul to get the curse removed and all you’re left to ponder is what a crummy deal that was. We at Kinja are here now to find you good orbs at reasonable prices. Here are some of the best deals we’ve found.
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At 30-40mm, this orb is of the smaller variety, but that can be a good thing. we all know it’s not the size of the orb, it’s what you ponder. And that’s not all. If you clip the coupon on the store page, you’ll save an additional 10%. If there’s anything we wizards are good at, it’s resource management. We have a limited number of spell slots per day and a limited amount of cash to spend. Using it to buy an Iolite orb? That’s a INT 20 choice, my dude.
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Why limit yourself to one ob when you could be pondering over seven? Jovivi is running a deal right now to save $4 on their set of orbs. In this pack, you’ll get Amethyst, Rose Quartz, Red Jasper, Tiger Eye, Green Aventurine, Black Obsidian, Rock Crystal Quartz. It’s rumored these seven orbs work in the same way as the seven dragon balls in that they’ll grant you any wish so long as your wish is that you had seven orbs to ponder over.
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Ahhh now this is an orb, folks! 4 inches across, 100% natural obsidian… a perfect orb. These were also produced by free-range dragons so you can ponder without a heavy conscience. The smooth black surface is perfect to see your own reflection as you ponder what you’ve done with your life. Years wasted in your youth and now only a few more hours wasted to know that for sure as you ponder it. Save an extra 10% when clipping the coupon.
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Okay, now we’re really getting into the good stuff. Talk about value for your dollar? This orb contains an entire galaxy. Watch over it as their god. Ponder all the lives and history that would just be erased if you accidentally dropped it. Ponder what might happen to them if you shake it a bit. Ponder the money you’ll be saving when you clip the coupon to save 5%.
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Here’s an orb with true power. It used to be that you needed to save tickets across a year’s worth of birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese’s to acquire this orb. Now you can just sign online to any old shopkeeper’s website and order it for yourself with your hard-earned cash. Plug it in and ponder how the sparks run through it and go to your fingers as you touch the side. Again, you can save extra when you clip the coupon on the store page—20% this time.
Oh, you want to ponder? I’ll ponder your butt up and down the b-ball court. You’ll be pondering how I’m able to sink that many threes in a row. How about you ponder how my 5’7″ ass can dunk over you on a 10′ rim. Better grab this orb from Wilson for $4 off so you can ponder getting good as this game.
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